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Christian marriage: A man, a woman and Christ-        a Trinity!


Christian sex, by God's definition, is sexual union 
of a man and woman under covenant-the binding pledge of marriage.                                                              
Marriage is not simply a piece of paper for legal recognition, but rather a holy promise before        God's eyes, as well as with his bless-  ings. The biblical Word, Genesis 2:4 says, "a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh," express- sing marriage as 1 + 1 equals 1!



For those not yet married, purity is a choice, just
like salvation. Dating, have sex with, or living
with, this or that person, fragments us. We give
away pieces of ourselves, often with the result of
losing our trust or confidence, being unsure of
"who we are" inside; perhaps being scarred by
fear and pain, over time, and frequently going
through many failed relationships. God is not
trying to keep anything from us, (Psalm 84:11)
"no good thing will he uphold from those who
walk uprightly". God does not want us testing 
our partners before marriage because, "your 
body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you,
whom you have received from God. You are not
your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore,
honor God with your body," (! Corinthians 6:19).


        Urgent!!! Parents, please view this Video        

 There are a number of vaccines that are prepared on tissue from aborted fetuses. To see in depth information on vaccines, I highly recommend the website Mercola.com. More recently, scrutiny has fallen on the Gardasil vaccine. Parents beware, and be cautious! The above video is from was related to events around Sept. 2, 2011, bill AB499.


God wants the very best for us-one special, select person who we can intimately, emotionally, and spiritually share all of ourself with, including sex, as a holy union. An excellent book, no matter what your age, for taking the road less travelled, is "God is Your Matchmaker" by Stephanie Herzog. We are the "set apart" ones. Dating for Christians should not be "like" the world. "We are in the world, not of the world." (taken from John 17:16).  

Love is more than just a feeling or a sexual passion. It is friendship, closeness, a sharing of who we are, who we are not, and even of who we can or might be. As feelings can change very quickly, love becomes a choice-a decision, to be lovely to another person when you may not feel like it, when you feel they don't deserve it, or because your mood isn't "feeling" love at the moment. Choosing love should remind us that, "God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us," (Romans 5:8). The conscious effort we make to love and to be "lovely", when practiced enough, becomes automatic over time. True Christian love echoes God's command, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you," (John 15:12).

Perhaps one of the greatest unknowns about Christianity is the fact that God, our Creator, our Father, truly wants an intimate relationship with us! Not just reading the bible, or going to church, or being good to our spouse and family, but he desires a close relationship like a Father and child.
This comes from making him #1 priority and giving him quality and quantity time each day. We can talk to him with childlike (not childish) innocence and truth, because we are his children. He didn't send us the greatest gift in the world, Jesus, because he didn't love us. If we make time for him and with him, he will take time with us, (Psalm 27:8) "When thou saidst, seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, thy face, Lord, will I seek". When we practice stilling ourselves, our minds, and our activities to just be alone with God; we can begin to hear his soft, still voice speak to us and guide us in every part of our life-marital ups and downs, job situations, how to deal with and care for our families, and in all decisions-in a wholesome and loving way. (Psalm 46:10) "Be still and know that I am God."

A wonderful way to become closer spiritually and  
    in unity as a couple is to pray together. Sound
         difficult? For helpful insight, click:                         How to Pray With Your Spouse


   Some excellent books for enriching marriages:

                            "Love and Sex"
                             Nancy Houston                                
      "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage"
                            Mark Gungor

 "Kiss Me Like You Mean It: Solomon's Crazy in
      Love How-To Manual"   Dr. David Clarke
                  (loss or lack of intimacy in your marriage)

     "A Praying Life; Connecting with God in a
               Distracting World"    Paul Miller

 "How to Pray for Your Wife"  Mark A. Weathers

    "The Five Love Languages-the Secret to Love  

     That Lasts"   Gary Chapman

         "Praying Through the Deeper Issues of
         Marriage: Protecting Your Relationship
    So It Will Last a Lifetime"  Stormie Omartian

           "Why Did I Marry You Anyway?"
                            Barbara Bartlein

 "The Respect Dare"  (men need and crave respect)
                            Nina Roesner

      "Creating an Intimate Marriage: Rekindle
       Romance Through Affection, Warmth and
              Encouragement"          Jim Burns

    "Starved for Affection"   Dr. Randy Carlson

   "Becoming the Woman of His Dreams; Seven      
  Qualities Every Man Longs For"  Sharon Jaynes

 "A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's
    Gift of Married Sexual Pleasure  (A Christian 
       Couple's Manual)"      Douglas E. Rosenau

  "As Long as We Both Shall Live; Experiencing
         the Marriage You've Always Wanted"
     Dr. Gary Smalley and Mr. Ted Cunningham


Oneness and its need in marriage is very real. A
husband and wife are not just two separate adults 
who signed a marriage document; they are this new
"oneness"-a couple vowed in covenant before God,
their Creator. A real bond must begin and grow in
this God-created relationship.

There should be a true joy about the two of you
together. The couple relationship and the relation-ship with children will outlast jobs, cars and

In an article in "Psychology Today" of over 300
married couples of 15 yrs or more, the couples
made many "we" statements about their married

"We agree on aims and goals. We laugh together.
We agree on a philosophy of life. We share outside
hobbies and interests. We agree about our sex life.
We have a stimulating exchange of ideas. We agree
on how often to show affection. My spouse is my
best friend. I like my spouse as a person. I confide
in my spouse."

They shared nearly all aspects of their lives with
interest and joy. They were mates, lovers,
companions, partners, and best friends. One
husband said, "It came to me that the joy of life
comes from the two of us together, rather than
outside things like career, hobbies or leisure

           The two became one person/one flesh!

Perhaps the study sounds too unrealistic. After all,
it was only 300 couples. True, but God really does
desire the very best for our marriages, so why
shouldn't we?                               
 Need outside help?   
For couples who may be headed toward divorce, or need to put their marriage back on course, or route it in a healthy new direction, workshops held around the country (A New Beginning) 

Also available, though this is a retreat located in areas of Texas, Cornerstone Marriage & Family Ministries:  http://www.marriageministry.org/ 
             Also on this site is a "free" ebook,      
        "10 Steps to Revitalize Your Marriage"


        "Celebrate Family"         

  "Focus on the Family" kicked off its 12 city Cele-     brate Family Tour in April. Each event will fea-      ture live concerts by beloved contemporary
    Christian recording artists, special time with
    Focus on the Family president, Jim Daly, and
   free family resources and giveaways. For ques-
   tions or more information, call 1-800-A-Family
      or visit   www.focusonthefamily.com/tour

        Recommended Book Resources for Family Reading:

     "Fearfully & Wonderfully Made"  Phillip Yancey & Paul Brand
           "The Power of Blessing"            
Kerry Kirkwood


  Often in failed marriages, individuals do not leave
     their parents; they are still holding onto past
  unhealthy attitudes, beliefs, desires or needs. Nor
 are they "cleaving" to their partner. They are still
 thinking of themselves as "I" , not "we"; thus they
         do not develop a unity in their marriage.


                     Leave.   Cleave.   Unify!!

 A bonded marriage is a symbol of the intertwining
     relationship between Christ and the church:

(1 Corinthians 7:4) "The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband; and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife." 

(Ephesians 5:23, 25) "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church; and He is Saviour of the body. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her."

 Unfortunately, as God might say, "You invited me
   to the wedding, now invite me to the marriage."


You may now be asking yourself, so how does all of this help me have better sex in my Christian marriage? The best Christian relationship makes for the best sex relationship! Being intimate with God, as a person, and as a couple enhances our shared intimacy and pleasure as husband and wife, just the way God meant.

Clearly, Christians "are" meant to have great sex. One translation of Genesis says that when Adam saw Eve for the very first time, he said "Wow!" God created woman for man. God did not create the "wow" factor by accident-he knew what he was doing-above and beyond the purpose of procrea-tion. Christianity does approve of the human body. After all, God Himself, came to earth in human form. Christianity actually glorifies marriage more than other religions do. As well, most of the great love poems have been written by Christians.

Evenso, the world has imposed some hang ups on Christians, about who they are in Christ. There should be no contradiction between holiness and sex within the marriage covenant. God does not intend for us to avoid physical pleasure or limit our physical pleasure to "prove" our spiritual holiness. He does not expect or want us to feel guilty about enjoying each other. Though sex is a release of hormonal energy, it should also be a time of over-whelming pleasure and joy.

Suggested Do's for Husbands and Wives:

    Dance across the   danceaa        livingroom

                                 Hold hands

        Blow a kiss      purplekiss1pk__tiny   across the room
                             Flirt, touch, wink
                             Stargaze together
 Listen!  listening is an act of Love, not only to our 
  husband/wife-but also to our children, especially
    teenagers. The more you "listen" without inter-
   upting & talking over them, the more they will 
       feel open to coming to you on serious issues.
      (for help with kids, read "Have a New Kid                       by Friday" by Kevin Leman)         
                             Give compliments
                                Be empathetic
                              Sincerely "care"

                     Put love notes in suitcases, 
             lunchboxes, pockets.... 
      Send cards in the mail for no special reason
       Send a card inviting your spouse for a date
 Pray together-as a couple, and as a family if there                                  are children       
                     Have joy in your marriage!

         Psalm 100 "Make a joyful noise unto the 
      Lord" The Lord does have a sense of humor
       and he does want marriages filled with joy!

                Laugh! enjoy the humor in life (One
     husband remarked, "I used to dream of being
    with a hot woman; and then my wife went thru
                menopause and I got my wish.")
                               Be respectful
           Communicate, Discuss & Compromise
                     Renew your wedding vows

              Say things with respect and love
     Praise your spouse when he/she does good or 
                                 positive acts
                        Say "I love you" often
   Remember-husbands crave respect; wives crave 
          Definite No's for Husbands and Wives:

                         Yell, scream, argue
                        Glare with your eyes
                         Use sex as a weapon
              Compare your spouse to "anyone"
  Say things you can never take back-though your 
  spouse may forget what you said, they may never 
                 forgot how it made them feel!
                               Nag, nag, nag
                                    Be rude
                                  Be critical
                   Tease or joke in a hurtful way
                      Use children as weapons
     Go to bed angry or leave one another angry
Compete-Remember, this is the "no" list-marriage 
       is not a competition; it is a "partnership"
 Never allow children to be more important than       your spouse. God is 1st, then your spouse;
                  marriage is a sacred union.

One suggestion: Each of you list the things that made you initially fall in love with each other. Maybe go to dinner and share these thoughts; reminisce down memory lane. Kindly say some of the things you miss that you used to see or experience.

Often marriage becomes unhappy because of our false expectations. The priority should be to let God be our source of joy. No other person or partner has the power or ability to make another person happy. Your marriage relationship should expand your individual happiness.

Some common misconceptions that couples have:

1.  "Love is enough" Not so, as marriage needs constant nurturing. We change. Circumstances around us change. Love needs room to go beyond the feelings or sexual passions we started with. It is friendship, closeness, flexibility and a sharing of who we are and who we can be, individually and as a couple.

2.  "I should always feel in love" But you probably won't. There will be times when you are not happy with your mate, and you may feel out of love or even that you married the wrong person!

3.  "My partner should know my needs" It is no longer a "me" arrangement anymore, but a "we" relationship. "Just married" doesn't mean we become instant mind readers. Whatever the needs-sexual, emotional, affection, security, encouragement-each partner must verbally communicate these thoughts. If you feel this is something you just cannot do, perhaps leaving a note worded in a way that invites a response would feel more comfortable, at first.

4.  "Conflict will ruin our marriage or show we don't love one another" Not so, you didn't marry because you were clones of each other. You both have different backgrounds, experiences, feelings, and opinions. Though conflict is inevitable at times, we learn much about each during such events. 

Disagreement on sex,  or any other matter gives you a chance to share ideas, grow in marital maturity and become closer. When conflict results in a deadlock, compromise is always the answer. Discuss calmly and honestly what each of you wants and why. The goal should be to try to please the other person as much as possible. Never give your husband or wife an ultimatum and never put a time limit on negotiations, unless the situation merits it.

If all of these ideas seem like a lot of fluff and unrealistic suggestions, they're not! Maybe you've already been struggling so long in your marriage and are so disillusioned by how you thought or dreamed it would be, you feel defeated.

A Christian counselor or pastor may indeed help, but a great idea is to let your own marriage expectations fall by the wayside-and learn more about God's expectations for your marriage, "for my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are my ways your ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9). A husband and wife must depend upon God for the ability to properly love their spouse.

An additonal resource for Christian life is Family Life Radio. Try it instead of television for a week. They offer Christian music, wonderful teachings by some noted pastors, such as Dr. Charles Stanley, Dr. James McDonald, and Dr. David Jeremiah. "Intentional Living" is a daily broadcast hosted by Dr. Randy Carlson taking live calls & offering advice on marital and family issues. The Intentional Living group, featuring Dr. Carlson, also tours doing conferences in cities across the U.S. This could be informative, as well as life changing! Dr. Randy Carlson is a marriage & family therapist, as well as a best selling author. He gives sound advice that really works with a great touch of humor.  There is a small clip on their site:
                   (click intentional living conferences)
           In 2013, they had "Intentional Living Night" & will be
              doing this again in 2014. Check site for upcoming dates.
 Link is: http://www.theintentionallife.com/events/lymn/2/

    An alternate choice to attend is Marg Gungor's "Laugh Your Way to a 
    Better Marriage" conferences. Mark is featured on the video "Men's Sex 
    Drive" on this page. Laughter, he explains, opens us up, breaks down our
    defenses and opens up our emotions-which results in healing in marriages.
    And who doesn't enjoy laughing? Mark is also a pastor, but is very down 
    to earth, as well as being hysterically funny. Check for an event near you.


  Another great resource is christian television, all 
    programs can also be viewed on the internet:
          www.tct.tv   (Total Christian Television)


Perhaps the best and most powerful way to change your marriage is to speak the Word. God created the world, not with his hands, but with his Word. This truth is seldom taught today. Speaking the truth of what God says about you over your marriage, your children, your finances, your health and any situation, causes the earth/physical realm to react to the spirit realm. We are "spirit" wrapped in flesh, and God says, "It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life," (John 6:63).


Find scriptures that say what God wants for us, what he thinks of us, what he has promised us, and how he loves us; then speaking verses relevant to your need out loud, over the situation. This activates the supernatural power of Spirit  and changes will take place, guaranteed!"Even God, who quickeneth (makes alive) the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were",(Romans 4:17). We can speak what we desire our-selves to change to, or we can speak what we desire our spouse or situation to become like. Either way, the circumstances will change and the person speaking God's Word will change, as well. Confess-ing God's Word is a powerful spiritual principle.

Some examples to speak:

"As I live with my wife, I give her honor and understanding. She may be weaker than me, but in God, she is my equal. If I don't treat her as I'm supposed to, my prayers will go unheard." 
(1 Peter 3:7)

"My husband gives me the affection due to me and likewise I give my husband the affection due to him." (1 Corinthians 7:3)

"I encourage my husband (wife) and continually build him (her) up.I do not pay him (her) back evil for evil, but I always pursue to do what is good for him (her). I am always joyful, I pray continually and I thank God for everything for this is God's will for me in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5: 11, 15-18)

"Christ died not only for our salvation; he died for our complete freedom from the works of satan, who he overcame and defeated! Hallelujah! Our won-derful savior sacrified Himself on the cross for our salvation, healing and prosperity! "For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." (Psalm 84:11)

    To learn more about this God-given authority
                          of believers, read:

  "Confessing God's Word: Realize the Power of 
         Confession"          Maureen Anderson

            Other recommended ministries are:
 Bill Winston-excellent CD's, "Law of Confession"

   Andrew Wommack-"Authority of the Believer"
    book; his teachings on "A Better Way to Pray"
     are phenomenal-they will revolutionize your
            prayer life-outstanding!! 
    Kenneth E.Hagin-"Believer's Authority" book
     (ministry now under son/Kenneth W. Hagin)

  Charles Capps-"The Tongue,  A Creative Force"
    Joseph Prince Ministries-dynamic teacher of the Word,
          often refers back to the Hebrew origin and explains in depth

                              Jesse Duplantis
                            Kenneth Copeland

                           WIDE OPEN!

According to John 14:6 Jesus said, "I am the Way, the truth, and the life; no one cometh unto the Father but by me". If you would like to invite Jesus into your life, or you have drifted away from Him, say the following prayer "aloud" or something similar to it from your heart. Mean it more than anything you have ever said!


Father God-I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord & I believe in my heart that you raised Him from the dead. I believe Jesus went to the cross for me. I am sorry for all my sins and ask forgiveness. Jesus, come into my heart & be the Lord of my life. I am now born again and I am saved! I know that you love me too much to leave me like I am, Lord.  Make me your new creation and help me to live for you. I thank you Father for the greatest gift of all! In Jesus' name.  Amen.   
          Bible references: Romans 10:9-10,13

  Listed are a few websites to log onto for spiritual 
    resources, or to receive free materials for new
      believers, guiding on your walk with Christ:

        www.awmi.net                 www.dwo.org  

      www.joycemeyer.org     www.billwinston.org    

  www.creflodollarministries.org    www.kcm.org

      www.charlescapps.com      www.intouch.org

Please view the following video-the Lord truly does                                LOVE YOU!!

          Clicking the dove will take you to page 2 

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